Has your relationship with your boss suddenly changed (and you don’t know why)? You’re smart enough to notice and smarter than you to do something about it.
Many of us enter into an unhealthy relationship with our manager, hoping that it will eventually end. The truth is, relationships are like icebergs—what you see above the water is usually rooted in something much bigger going on below the surface. What you experience as a pattern of harsh feedback or increased micromanaging may be rooted in something bigger. Even if it isn’t, sweeping these concerns under the rug can put you on edge and make you more likely to make mistakes or feel worse.
If you are serious about improving your relationship with your manager, you must be willing to take 100% responsibility for making the relationship successful. In a dream world, your manager can see what you’re doing and want to meet you on the way, but you can’t think about it. If trust is broken, it takes time to rebuild it. If your competence is in doubt, you may need several successes before dispelling their false perception of you. Regardless of the root cause of the breach, you must be willing to stand firm and remain steadfast until the relationship changes.
To improve your relationship with your manager, you need to convince them that you can succeed and help them. This persuasion is not about apologies or persuasive words; It’s about consistently communicating through your language, work products, loyalty, and warmth that you care about your company, your boss, and your team, and that you have the skills to do your job well.
So, how do you do it? It’s easier than you think.
Here are six ways to make your boss love you:
1. Find reasons to like and respect your manager
Humans are not stupid. We are biologically programmed to know when someone is taking a liking to us. Our gut tells us not to trust them and our suspicion becomes overwhelming. Your manager is no different. Deep down, if you don’t respect your manager, you won’t be able to build a relationship with them. Unfortunately, respecting them doesn’t mean we pretend our way.
To like or respect someone, you need to find things about them that you want to emulate. The good news is that even if your manager is Mr. Hyde on steroids, chances are there’s something admirable about it. Take a minute to decide what those things are and keep them in mind. One way to do this is to ask, “What do you appreciate most about your manager?” Creating an honest one-sentence response to the question. Facilitate that response and find a way to use it when asked about them and their skills. You’ll find that telling others what you like about them makes you believe them more.
As a bonus, if your manager hears you rave about them, it won’t hurt your relationship!
2. Be meticulous about keeping your word
You will stay if you say so at work At 8:30 am, do. If you promise to deliver on time, stick to that deadline. Don’t lie or exaggerate, it will save you a headache. If you make a mistake or miss a deadline, catch it before they do. Finally, keep what they tell you a secret. If you’ve been inconsistent about your word in the past, admit it. Share what you are doing to improve it. By being transparent about your intentions, and then keeping those intentions, you demonstrate that you are trustworthy.
3. Set firm boundaries and say no occasionally
Experienced bosses respect people who tell them the truth—even if the truth is “no.” By setting manageable (but realistic) boundaries and expectations with your boss, you Protect yourself from burnout And make sure you can deliver for them in the long term. Sometimes these boundaries need to be stretched, especially during busy seasons, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth setting.
By setting boundaries before they’re needed, you’ll ensure that you don’t become bitter or resentful of agreed-upon work patterns (working late or on weekends, checking your email on vacation, etc.). Similarly, by discussing project context and deadlines on the front end, you demonstrate that you take delivering on deadlines seriously. It’s far better to underpromise and delight your boss by overdelivering than verbally agreeing to something you know won’t happen.
4. Prioritize what is important (to)
There are certain projects that your boss cares a lot about. Make sure these projects are front and center on your to-do list. When you reach a major milestone with these projects, keep your boss in the loop.
When you burn the midnight oil, make sure they know you’re there Prioritizing this work Because it matters and because it matters to them. Share some of the praise for the project’s accomplishments by declaring them the project’s champion. Give them statistics, sound bites, and other information to share with their boss and peers about what you’ve accomplished together.
5. Show them you take their feedback seriously
When your boss pulls you aside with some Corrective feedbackYou reward them with their feedback by:
- Write it down and repeat their points back to them to make sure you’ve captured the feedback correctly.
- Follow up the conversation with an email (or note at your next check-in) thanking them for the feedback and letting them know what you’d like to do differently.
- Create systems or habits to remind yourself of the feedback and integrate the change they suggest.
- Choosing a few moments over the next few months to remind them of the feedback they gave and what you did to internalize it. If implementing their feedback has a positive impact, be sure to share it.
6. Be loyal when they’re not around
Trust is a weak point in your relationship with your manager; Breaking it is fatal for your relationship. Don’t tell them to their face that you can’t talk about them in public or behind closed doors. Don’t give feedback about someone unless you’ve voiced it to their manager first. You work hard if they are with you when they are sick at home Office. Don’t plot on them, period—even if they deserve it. By maintaining your loyalty to your manager, you can establish yourself as trustworthy and of high moral standards. This makes you rare and worth keeping around.
Repairing a broken relationship with your manager can be a lot of work, but will pay dividends in your immediate job and in your career. By taking the time to build trust and demonstrate your loyalty and competence, you’ll not only save your job—you’ll win a lifelong friend and mentor.
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This article was originally published on an earlier date.
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